That's Not What I Meant!

That's Not What I Meant! How Conversational Style Makes or Breaks Relationships  
Author(s) Deborah Tannen
Language English
Subject(s) relationships
Genre(s) non-fiction
Publisher Ballantine Books
Publication date March 12, 1987
Published in
English
March 12, 1987
Pages 224
ISBN 978-0345340900

That's Not What I Meant! How Conversational Style Makes or Breaks Relationships is Deborah Tannen's first book presenting, for a general audience, her linguistic approach to explaining how ways of speaking affect relationships. Predating by four years her phenomenally bestselling book about gender differences in ways of speaking, You Just Don't Understand, this short book approaches communication and miscommunication from a linguistic point of view rather than a psychological one, emphasizing differences between the genders. This book lays out the linguistic devices and rituals that constitute "conversational style," such as indirectness, pacing and pausing, humor, overlap and interruption, and shows their effects when styles differ.

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